I'm still trying to work out the true story of my last relationship, to explain definitively the how and why, like there is a logic game in there I can solve. Many times over many months (years? since the beginning?) I've come up with theories that were later abandoned, had faith that was proven naïve, or despaired over angst I can't even remember. The one thing I know for sure is that my feelings are mixed. That's where I am with all the therapy, folks, "my feelings are mixed." Marvel at the mastery of personal insight.
And I'm right on schedule, according to the strategy I developed circa 1995. My adolescent plan for a lifetime free of divorce (with my parents as cautionary tale) called for the failure of a serious relationship in my early 20s. I figured if I did away with romantic naïveté before getting married, and then I'd never leave my husband for greener grass, or because things were hard. Check and check. At 13, it sounded simple enough.
Then there is the glass-half-full analysis, supplied by Molly, which says if you can love somebody, then you can do it again. Let the truth be about potential and growth, not loss or failure.
And I'm right on schedule, according to the strategy I developed circa 1995. My adolescent plan for a lifetime free of divorce (with my parents as cautionary tale) called for the failure of a serious relationship in my early 20s. I figured if I did away with romantic naïveté before getting married, and then I'd never leave my husband for greener grass, or because things were hard. Check and check. At 13, it sounded simple enough.
Then there is the glass-half-full analysis, supplied by Molly, which says if you can love somebody, then you can do it again. Let the truth be about potential and growth, not loss or failure.
Better to go with that then obsess over all my asshole behavior. I am exhausted.
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