Fuuuuuuuck! It's actually here. My sister is leaving for college tomorrow! Is it weird that I feel a mixture of sadness, vicarious excitement, and jealousy? I want so much for her, and want so much that she be spared the mishaps/tragedies I went through. I can't enunciate it - the right advice - to protect her and embolden her and pass down whatever wisdom I have acquired. I think there's a part of me that sees her life as an opportunity for a do-over of my own.
I remember this night for me. My closest friends came over to watch me pack into the wee hours. The last one to leave lingered in the front hall, but I wanted him out so I could run back to my room and cry. I felt lonely instantly. 36 hours later I was on the train to New Haven, in the same car as Xin, who, 8 years later, is soon to be my roommate. That's a lovely little continuity arc, eh?
Now all that's left is to burn the ubiquitous farewell mix CD (which started as a woe-is-me mix and is heavy on The Magnetic Fields) before Mom and Caroline head to the airport. Then back to packing up boxes for my own imminent departure. It's just like I'm going off to school, too! Except instead of picking classes I'll be job-hunting in a recession! And instead of battling over dorm suite space with a sullen Turk and an artsy Texan, I'll be negotiating the placement of mid-century furniture with a librarian and a lawyer in a "cozy" apartment in Greenpoint. Sheeeeeeeeyit!
No comments:
Post a Comment